Junie's Junction

One month on HRT

One month on HRT, completed. I couldn't believe this achievement if it was 6 months ago. There have been tons of development on me, physically and mentally, most of them being positive changes.

I want to get into the glaringly obvious change after being on HRT for this long. Yeah, that's right, my bo- emotions, I can understand them very clearly and express them in a way everyone understands now. Although, I faced tons of mood swings for the past 2 weeks, but it's still better than feeling like an empty husk, a puppet, with a very foggy memory and no emotions.

Next up, my breasts have gotten more sensitive and bigger than before. There is huge amounts of pain in the area. I've been thinking of getting some sort of bralette but that would mean putting an end to boymoding(which I want to avoid in the first place).

How did we get here? #

Discovering my gender was a piece of cake, I just woke up one day and decided to be a transgender girl. Just kidding, it's much more complicated than that. 6 years ago I was on the brinks of suicide, I had no male friends but I socialised with the girls better. I began questioning my true gender identity and whether I'm happy with living as a man until I'm old.

Then it struck me that I never did fit in the conventional definition of a "male". None of my close social circles includes a normal straight male. I've always tried distancing myself from those types of people since I get uncomfortable near them. I think at that point I just started reminiscing all the times I was happy with being "a boy" and it truly hit me I was never happy being one in the first place.

I was always jealous of my sister, and when my younger sister was born I became ever so jealous. I don't want to be like this forever. I've never felt like following the norm, even if mum told me to, I don't want to obey, but I had to act like I'm a good child or my social status becomes an L.

Acting.

I've been acting as someone I'm not before my gender discovery. I have never felt like "myself" after starting school. I had to act in order to get through the day, every day of my life from then on just for me to exist. And I don't want it to stay that way and not be "myself" until I die. But now that I know I'm trans, I'm finally happy, with a clear conscious.

Gender Dysphoria is such a horrible thing to be facing when I didn't even know what it is that I was facing. Everything felt like a hurdle because there's just one obstacle that I can't seem to get off of my mind. But now that I've been on HRT, I can finally be assured to be able to do everything with a clear mind.

I don't know how to end this (?)rant(?)vent but I reach out to all my trans sisters, that you can make through this!!! Kick gender dysphoria in the ass!!! Don't listen to the haters!!! You can do this. Do this for your own sake.

This is Junie, the girlboss, and owner of the site, signing off. Thank you.